This is Me

What Do I want?

I feel like I am back at square one and I feel like i can't catch a break of what I really want my life to look like. I always thought it was going to be this white picket fence with a brick house and the chaos of children laughing and crying and wanting me their dad to hold them, I sit here at age 24 with no soulmate no children and no picket fence. I was always taught that we have to live our life according to a timeline and I have to remind myself everyday that there is no such thing as a time line.  There is no such thing as perfect timing at any times in your life. 

Sometimes I ask myself what else can this life put me through, I feel like I am so lost In the unknown of life and not being able to find my path has been a very difficult thing for me. I know society says that you don't need to have everything figured out in your 20's but i have a really hard time believing in that phrase because I think life is way to short and I want to be able to do all the things I want, But the question still keeps on running through my mind. What do I want for my life? What do I  want my life to look like? What kind of Relationships do I want in my life? I am crippled by these question's and I can honestly say I think people are on the very same path and have the same problem so  I am not the only one that feels lost or can't seem to understand what I have to do to create the life I want, I JUST HAVE TO START LIVING FOR ME AND ONLY ME. My yogi master  Adriane always says finds what feels good and I think that goes along with anything you do in life. 

I understand that there shouldn't be a timeline and things will come to pass if  I am patient  and wait, even though I am absolutely  terrible at waiting for things to come. I have to stop stewing over why my life isn't great and need to start saying how great my life truly is, I have a running and beautiful car that gets me from A-B I have running water that I can drink everyday, I am able to pay for the food that I put in my belly, the list can actually go on and on. Even though I am not where I want to be I am making the necessary steps to get there.  So maybe this life is all about what you are learning and the connections you have that can last a lifetime. 

One way that I can create the life I want is to have a Dream board and get pictures of where I want to be and look at it Every single day and visualize what exactly I want. I need to start listening to people that truly bring me up and so called mimic the life they have but also make it mine in a way, That fits everything I want and what I want to become. The reality of dreams boards is that I also have to put in the work to recieve those dreams. I want them to be a reality. Understanding my why is to help people along their journey of immortality.  

I want to change the lives of others and I am starting to understand the process of how I can do that in my life.